Brick Road

I'm ass-end of an odd staycation right now. My basic aim was to sit and play video games the entire time, but I don't think I was able to really enjoy it. First, I spent a good chunk of it with Mercenaries 2, a game with toxic properties. But after it was out of my home (if not my conflicted psyche,) I still lacked the ability to fully enjoy the fruits of my sloth. The bit of Calvinist guilt I get from my father, compounded by the knowledge that I'm not really doing anything with my life, has slowed my roll.

I come back here to write because it feels like I'm accomplishing something, even if I know I'll never show this blog to anyone I know or make any money from it. My sister's the only person with any success in my immediate family, and she writes, so I'm at least somewhat doing this because I want to be like her. From the other side, I ... can't communicate as well face-to-face as I can through text. Even if I'm functionally writing to no one here, I can more accurately relay my feelings to the void. I'm spending a lot more time in IRC, as a result of this. I don't believe that real companionship develop between people over the internet, so I don't necessarily know what I use it for.

Sleep fails me. I'm going to go play more Tales of Vesperia. I want review more games, just to stretch those muscles, but I can't do this one. I have no distance whatsoever.