Thursday, May 29, 2003

In shifts, old me dies. Over the period of maybe a month, I have started to give up all activities, predilections, and needs. To prepare for a wonderful time: when I change. Every so often, I try to change the focus of my life. It feels like more than that, though. It feels miraculous to give up all prior ties that I have had. It gives me a wider range of possibility than I feel at any other time. Potential, people always tell me, is something that I waste foolishly. I feel more potential in letting go of all commitments than I do in attending to people's desires. It seems like this recent change is about not pleasing people, not saying white lies, things like that. I feel more calm, more aware, more in control of my mind. It's nice.