Neue

I've had a lot of dreams about trains. Maybe it's all the times I've nodded off on a train. Whenever I get on a train while dreaming, I seem to be late. I lose track of time, I get on the wrong train. It's hard to get on the right train when you don't know where you're going. I never do know, and apparently I'm never going anywhere, although I do become quite concerned at my tardiness. Then it gets late, the sky gets dark, and I know I'll have hell to pay when I get home. Once, this train was on rollercoaster tracks. In a prairie area. It seemed beautiful and sad at the time.

I wonder if all my problems stem from my not belonging. I have never felt in comfortable in any place I've been, role I've played. I was never quite able to admit that I didn't belong because I never wanted to admit that I might yearn to find an appropriate place. Maybe that's why people go on journeys. They know that they don't belong where they are and that the longer they stay, the less they will be able to distinguish the feeling. When I was younger, I didn't want to wish to belong because I didn't want a life set in one place, one role. But I was/am always in no place, no role. What I've got to ask is: which choice is better?